Today marks the first day that I was left alone to take care of myself. I will admit that I was a little concerned that I wouldn't be able to log everything, but it's gone pretty well so far. I have gotten all 40 grams of protein in already and have gotten all 3 doses of calcium supplement in. I even went for a 15 minute walk outside by myself, and hopefully I'll go for another one when I pick up my sister from school. On that note...I drove for the first time today! I drove, with the supervision of my husband, to a bakery to pick up a birthday cake for my mom's birthday dinner tonight. I finally stopped taking my pain meds now that my drain is out (stay tuned for a blog entry about that soon)!
What I have been struggling with the last 24-48 hours is being around food and really listening to my body. I can legitimately say that I haven't been hungry since I had my surgery. I have not had the sensation of hunger hit me, but I HAVE felt thirsty because the protein drinks tend to dry out my mouth a bit. Once I get in my initial 4-6 ounces of the day I seem to have a never-ending feeling of being full. You get to a point that you just don't want to drink anything! I've been pushing myself to get my protein in by promising myself that I can take a 45 minute break from drinking and reward myself with some sugar free jell-o. I'm telling you, by 2pm I don't want to put anything else in my mouth.
Last night I also cooked dinner for my husband and prepped other items for the week. It was painful to stand in the kitchen for an hour, but I made it through. My husband seemed pretty impressed that I was able to do it and even said, "If I were in your position I wouldn't be able to be around food...period. I don't know how you do it?" In that moment I had a minor meltdown because I was so sick of protein shakes. In that moment I did a mental countdown as to when I would be able to eat actual food again...then it hit me! It's not food I want. I'm literally not craving anything. I was really frustrated because I had been on a liquid diet for 8 days and I simply didn't want to eat or drink. I had to take a second to listen to my body and realize that it's angry because it's getting used to eating a different way. I can't blame my body for being pissed off at me. It's going to be a long road but eery day has been better than the day before.
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