3 MONTH WEIGH IN!

   So instead of doing my usually Wednesday weigh in, I decided to hold off a day and do a 3 month weigh in. I really can't believe that it's been 3 months. I guess I've just been so busy!

Starting Weight: 303lbs. 0oz.
3 Month Weight: 257lbs. 8oz.
Total Weight Lost: 45lbs. 8oz.

   I'm absolutely happy with my results so far! I went in for my 3 month appointment on Tuesday and I will admit that I wasn't looking forward to it. Because I have been struggling with some foods I've been a little down lately but Melissa assured me that everything is right on track. She even assured me that my rate of weight-loss is ideal. A lot of people who have WLS will prolong their liquid phases just to help them drop the weight quicker and at a very rapid rate. She said that even though those people are thrilled that they are getting skinny quicker, they are the ones who are going to gain it back. They are treating their sleeve like any other crash diet instead of using it as a tool. If you never learn how to live with your sleeve, it'll never work for you. She also said the rate at which I'm losing weight is ideal for skin because it'll bounce back better.

   I don't think I've ever mentioned this, but they do a Complete Body Composition Analysis when I go into the office. It breaks down everything and tracks it over time so they can see my progress: BMI, water weight, lean muscle mass, body fat mass, etc. It's really neat! It can even tell me how much fat I have in each arm and leg. I did want to take a minute to share some of the other stats because I want people to understand that weight is just a number. Dr. Bill and I were in agreement that even though the numbers say I should weigh 130lbs, there is NO way my body would ever be able to maintain that. I have a really muscular frame and I don't lose muscle easily. In fact, I put it on quickly as well. So I just wanted to share some of the stats so you can see what a difference 45lbs makes:

BMI= Body Mass Index
Starting BMI: 57
3 Month BMI: 43
BMI Goal: 18-25

PBF= Percentage Body Fat
Starting PBF: 65
3 Month PBF: 51
PBF Goal: 18-28

And this is one of my favorite! It tells me how much of my body is fat and how much is lean mass:
Weight: 257.8 lbs
Lean Body Mass: 125.2 lbs
Body Fat Mass: 132.6 lbs

*I am 132.6 lbs of fat, but that doesn't mean I need to lose 132.6 more pounds. Based of my bone density results this machine is also able to calculate how much more weight I would benefit most from losing. Based on this I should lose 96 more pounds. That would put me right around 160 lbs, which is EXACTLY where Dr. Billy and I agreed would be acceptable for my frame and muscle composition (160-170lbs). I thought it would be a great idea to show you the numbers so you can see what's happening off the scale.

The Biggest Loser

     One of my favorite shows right now is The Biggest Loser! It's my first time watching it from the beginning of the season all the way through the end, and there's definitely a reason for that. I always felt embarrassed that these people were changing their lives and I wasn't. How do you justify being obese and sitting on your butt while you watch other people lose weight?! I would watch the first 2 episodes of the season and then tune in for the finale. That's where I left it.

   This season has been very different for me because I'm in a completely different mental space too. I'm losing weight and I'm not watching the show from my couch...I'm watching it from an elliptical or treadmill. The theme of this season is "SECOND CHANCES" and the timing couldn't be better. I know it sounds super cliche but I can completely relate to the theme and to these contestants now. I get that they have world class trainers and dieticians working with them to produce amazing results, but at the end of the day the struggle is the same for everyone. You stop caring about yourself and stop thinking that you're worth saving. You feel like you aren't living up to your fullest potential or that you're disappointing the people you care about most.

   There was one particular contestant that I related to immediately and her name is RACHEL!!! She was athletic, had potential to be extremely successful in high school, and she lost herself. I feel like I was in a very similar boat before my surgery and I've been rooting for her since day #1. I almost feel like if she wins I will win too. This week was "Makeover Week" and the final weigh in before the finals, so I felt like bragging about my Rachel a little bit.

    This was her "Before and After" from Makeover Week...Can you imagine what it's going to be at the finale?! So far she's lost over 100 lbs. and she is an absolute beast in the gym. Whenever I watch her work out I find myself pushing myself harder on whichever cardio machine I'm on.

   This was from one of her first workouts on the ranch. Like I said....she's a total BEAST! I can only hope to be that intense someday. I think I'm getting there though!

Bridesmaid: Before & After

   This past summer I went on an unbelievable vacation with my husband and the rest of my familia! We took a Disney Cruise to the Caribbean and celebrated my parents' marriage with a vow renewal in St. Maarten. Where there's a wedding, there's a bride. And where there's a bride, there's usually a bridesmaid or 2. Tonight my mom asked if I had tried on the dress since my surgery and surprisingly enough I haven't. I don't know why I'm still surprised, but it was HUGE on me!

   So this picture was taken in mid-July. The wind was blowing but you can still tell that it was snug on me, especially in the mid-section. I look at this picture, then look in the mirror, and still see the same person. I honestly don't know where the disconnection is coming from?!

    Then I look at a picture like this one and can definitely see the difference. You can even see that my arms alone have slimmed down. In the first picture my arms were rounded and full. Now you can see the arm skin is finally getting loose and the cellulite is pretty much gone. I had a co-worker ask me this week, "Aren't you grossed out that your arms aren't tight and that it jiggles?" To answer that honestly, I obviously wish and hope that the excess skin will go away. HOWEVER... I will take the excess skin and loose arms over going back to where I was any day. I have a husband who loves me and married me the way I was...I can't let myself become insecure and self-conscious about a little loose skin. And I trust that my husband will just be happy that I'm happy, healthy and that I'm more "energetic" ;-P

   So overall this was a pleasant experience that really kick started my week and put me in a good mental space!

WEEK #11 WEIGH IN

   So today I'm going to keep it simple and JUST focus on the weight loss. I'm in a very bad mental space and I'll dedicate a separate blog to what's going on internally.

Starting Weight: 303 lbs.
Week #11 Weight: 261 lbs. 2 oz.
Total Weight Lost: 41 lbs. 14 oz.

I'm 2 ounces away from 42 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WEEK #10 WEIGH IN

   This week has been incredibly busy and I've had some old demons that have come back to haunt me. One of the issues I had before surgery was BOREDOM EATING and this week I've struggled with it. I saw it start to creep up on me Sunday morning and IMMEDIATELY kicked myself out of the house. If I'm not home I'm safe! I spent the morning at the farmer's market, where I ate a shrimp taco and lemonade, and then headed to TJ Maxx to kill some more time. I didn't end up home until almost 1pm which was fine by me. When I got home I gave myself some tasks to do: made a grocery list, organized the dvds, and waxed my lip, and a few other projects. Keeping myself busy was the only way I survived the day.

   Luckily being so busy helped me lose a more substantial amount of weight this week and I hit another milestone!

Starting Weight: 303 lbs.
Week #10 Weight: 263 lb. 0 oz.
Total Weight Lost: 40 lbs. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PEAKS

• Obviously hitting the 40 lb. mark this week felt amazing! My original goal was to be down to 50 pounds by April and I think that I will be beyond my own expectations by then. New goal for April: 70lbs.
• Getting back on my vitamin regimen. 
• Wearing heels for an entire day. 
• I'm continuing to get the hang of things at work. 

PITS

• Dealing with boredom eating! I really wish that issue had just magically disappeared when I had my surgery but unfortunately that's one of the things surgery couldn't take care of. That's something I have to do on my own. 
• I haven't done laundry in 2 weeks...I should get around to that soon. 
• I haven't gotten to do as much cooking as I would have liked to.

Work and Weight Loss

   One of the biggest things I have had to adjust to since having the sleeve was taking care of myself at work. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I was surprised at how well I did my first day back. I not only met my protein goal, but I also met my water goal for the day. I guess it's all that talking I do during my appointments! After my first couple days back I knew I had it in the bag.... then my entire world got turned upside down.

   Toward the end of my first week back I got pulled aside by our Store Manager, Renee, and she informed me that she had just given her 2 weeks notice. We weren't quite sure how that would affect me directly, but since I was the only other person who knows how to do shipping and processing we knew I was going to be asked to step up temporarily in that area at the very least. I won't lie, I was thinking "I hope that I am at least considered for her position" but I was pretty sure that the owner would be bringing in someone new. The next time I saw our owner we began discussing the transition and what my availability would be during the school year. After some discussions about schedules and my interest in a career in bridal, one thing led to another and....

               I AM THE NEW STORE MANAGER AT CAMARILLO BRIDAL! 

   And this is the primary reason I haven't been able to blog for the last 2 1/2 weeks. I have been busy training with Renee and jumping head first into a new phase in my life. I thought it was sort of fate that all these amazing transitions were occurring simultaneously: I'm on a journey to a healthier me, I'm gaining more confidence with every pound I lose, and I finally see my career taking shape. I was very naive when I entered the world of bridal. I just thought it would be fun to be around weddings since I had just planned my own. Little did I know that "something fun" would turn into an actual career. I finally feel like I have a job that utilizes all of my skills and talents! I get to be organized, efficient, creative, teach and lead. Not to mention I spend my days surrounded by some of the most amazing ladies I have ever had the pleasure of knowing: my Camarillo Bridal Babes.

To learn more about our amazing store... http://www.camarillo-bridal.com/ 

WEEK #9 WEIGH IN

I AM SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! I cannot even begin to tell you how stressful and chaotic the last 2 weeks have been. There have been some really exciting things happening in my life, along with the usual chaos of the holidays, so I haven't had a chance to post anything. I promise I will more than make up for it with these next few entries! 

Starting Weight: 303 lbs.
Week #9 Weight: 267lbs. 0 oz.
Total Weight Lost: 36 lbs. 

PEAKS

• I survived the holidays and didn't put on any weight the day of Christmas. I stayed exactly the same and that's fine by me. Usually I gain 2 pounds at least, but not this year. I did a great job restraining myself from having too many chip or sweets. I kept it simple and made sure the first thing I ate on my plate was my protein.
• I moved into a new phase in my foods and can now eat soft-cooked vegetables, canned fruit, pasta and marinara sauce. Pasta wasn't my friend because it fills me up too fast and sits in my stomach FOREVER. I usually have to wait 20-30 minutes after a meal to be able to drink something. But when I eat pasta I have to wait a full hour otherwise I get that tight feeling in my stomach and chest. 
• I have found great ways to sneak in protein with my fruit. Since I can now have melon, I have been wrapping my small pieces of melon in prosciutto and that's how I get some extra protein in during a snack. 
• I got some great gifts for Christmas, including some great clothes that will eventually fit me. 
• I redid my closet and purged it of my "big lady" clothes. Stay tuned for a separate entry about that. 

Pits

• I haven't been to the gym and really just need to force a schedule that goes with my new routine. 
• I really wanted some lumpia for Christmas, but my in-laws didn't make any. 
• Ryan and I got so many DVDs for Christmas that we finally ran out of room to put them. I guess we just need a legit media center now. 
• I had to get rid of half the jeans in my closet because they are HUGE on me. Because I'm losing a ton of weight from my butt I have nothing to help hold them up.