BEFORE & AFTER w/ DAVID TUTERA!!!

One of the best things about my job is that I get to meet some amazing designers. One of the coolest things that has ever happened is getting to meet David Tutera. He came to Camarillo Bridal about 2.5 years ago to film an episode of My Fair Wedding and this time he came for a Trunk Show to style brides. For this "Before & After" I wanted to share both photos that I took with David Tutera. It's crazy to see how different I look and feel!

 BEFORE

&

AFTER

LIFE CHAOS & New Goals!

I'm sorry! I have had the craziest life since February and that is why I haven't been able to focus on the blog nearly as much as I should be. However I have a lot to catch up on and some exciting this that have happened so I will just start with an update:

March: My Father-in-Law had a Triple Bypass and we spent several weeks shuffling between the hospital and my in-laws' house to check up on him. Since he wasn't able to drive and no one else in their house can drive we tried to take them for errands and shopping as frequently as we possible could. Also, while he was in the hospital, we found a house! That will be an entirely separate blog entry in itself because it was the ultimate test in dealing with stress and self-control with food. I learned a lot during that time!

April/May: Drama with our house!  Again, that will be an entire entry on its own that will be coming up relatively soon. I spent these months constantly dealing with lenders, agents and banks and not really getting any time to myself. My body suffered a lot because of that and I had to really buckle down with my eating habits.

June: We finally wrapped up escrow on our house and spent 2 weeks moving in and getting settled. We had to go in with nail guns shootin' because we had 2 weeks before our vacation to Europe!

July: For 2 entire weeks we were in EUROPE! Best trip that I've ever taken and I can't wait to share an entire entry about this trip too. I actually might split that up into a few because I am really proud of how I handled my first vacation with my sleeve and what I accomplished during that trip from a health standpoint.

August: A lot of change at work, Bridal Market and still working on the house!

AND A WEIGH IN!!!

That's right people! I'm down another 36 pounds since the last time I posted a weigh in!

STARTING WEIGHT: 303lb. 0 oz.
WEIGHT TODAY: 218 lb. 4 oz.
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 84 lb. 12 oz.

So my original goal for my 1 year surgiversary was 75 lbs! My doctor thought that's what I would expect to lose. Obviously I'm almost 10 pounds ahead of that and need to establish a new goal. I decided to go for 100 POUNDS! I have a little over 2 months to go and I am currently 15 lbs. 4 oz. away from achieving it. That means that I have to lose just under 8 pounds a month. I hope I can make it!!! 

Fashion Update

   I finally see a change! Just seeing the shrinking sizes didn't really mean anything to me. It wasn't until I had the balls to try on a pencil skirt that I SAW MY BODY and saw the change in shape. Trying on that pencil skirt really changed everything for me! I always saw outfits on Pinterest that I loved and I could never wear them because they all had pencil skirts. I just had too much tummy.

This is my pencil skirt! It's a size 20 and I am absolutely in love with it. I definitely feel a little sassy!

You might remember this picture from my last fashion blog. I bought this shirt for under $3 and loved the idea of belting it. So this is what it looked like 25 pounds ago....

And this is what it looks like now.

So this dress and I go way back. Everyone who knows me knows that I have a thing for black lace with a nude underlay. So when I spotted this dress at one of my favorite boutiques (4 months ago) I immediately fell in love! The down side? It was $80...and I'm cheap. Obviously I walked away from it, regretted it and went back a month after my surgery. To my surprise it was still there but I walked away from it again...and again 4 weeks ago. BUT this week they have a Flash Sale for 30% and I told myself, "Ashley, if that dress is still there it's YOURS and it was meant to be!" Well it was there and it's mine. It is still a couple sizes too small but I was able to at least try it on this time, Huge deal!!!

WEIGH IN: WEEK 14!

   So now we're at Week 14 post-op and I am finally noticing a HUGE difference in my body! I have finally made it into my Stage #2 clothes, which are all 1X and size 20 pants....but I'll talk about that later in my blog:

Starting Weight: 203 lbs. 0 oz.
Week 14 Weight: 255 lbs. 2 oz.
Total Weight Lost: 47 lbs. 14 oz.

   That means I am only 2 lbs. and 2 oz. away from reaching the 50 lb. mark! I haven't been in the 250's since high school...specifically Sophomore and Junior Year. That was right after my first big weight gain (215 to 250) when my Mom was battling breast cancer and my biological dad tried coming back around.

Peaks

• I tried going to Zumba somewhere new this week. There is this place in the same shopping center I work in that has Zumba on Friday nights. My co-worker Chloe has started going and she convinced Claire and I to go with her. This Friday was my first time going and it was a lot more enjoyable because I had buddies. A few of the routines were nothing new to me, but this instructor incorporated a lot more muscle toning than just cardio. 
• Ryan went down a pant size. He's got his 34 inch waist back and he is super stoked!
• We got our plane tickets for our summer vacation! Yay!!!
• I bought my first pencil skirt and rocked it! I'm so in love with it!

Pitts

• The Biggest Loser finale...I have a whole blog coming your  way about my Rachel
• I wish I would have gone to the gym one more time this week. I had 3 sessions, but 4 was my goal.

3 MONTH WEIGH IN!

   So instead of doing my usually Wednesday weigh in, I decided to hold off a day and do a 3 month weigh in. I really can't believe that it's been 3 months. I guess I've just been so busy!

Starting Weight: 303lbs. 0oz.
3 Month Weight: 257lbs. 8oz.
Total Weight Lost: 45lbs. 8oz.

   I'm absolutely happy with my results so far! I went in for my 3 month appointment on Tuesday and I will admit that I wasn't looking forward to it. Because I have been struggling with some foods I've been a little down lately but Melissa assured me that everything is right on track. She even assured me that my rate of weight-loss is ideal. A lot of people who have WLS will prolong their liquid phases just to help them drop the weight quicker and at a very rapid rate. She said that even though those people are thrilled that they are getting skinny quicker, they are the ones who are going to gain it back. They are treating their sleeve like any other crash diet instead of using it as a tool. If you never learn how to live with your sleeve, it'll never work for you. She also said the rate at which I'm losing weight is ideal for skin because it'll bounce back better.

   I don't think I've ever mentioned this, but they do a Complete Body Composition Analysis when I go into the office. It breaks down everything and tracks it over time so they can see my progress: BMI, water weight, lean muscle mass, body fat mass, etc. It's really neat! It can even tell me how much fat I have in each arm and leg. I did want to take a minute to share some of the other stats because I want people to understand that weight is just a number. Dr. Bill and I were in agreement that even though the numbers say I should weigh 130lbs, there is NO way my body would ever be able to maintain that. I have a really muscular frame and I don't lose muscle easily. In fact, I put it on quickly as well. So I just wanted to share some of the stats so you can see what a difference 45lbs makes:

BMI= Body Mass Index
Starting BMI: 57
3 Month BMI: 43
BMI Goal: 18-25

PBF= Percentage Body Fat
Starting PBF: 65
3 Month PBF: 51
PBF Goal: 18-28

And this is one of my favorite! It tells me how much of my body is fat and how much is lean mass:
Weight: 257.8 lbs
Lean Body Mass: 125.2 lbs
Body Fat Mass: 132.6 lbs

*I am 132.6 lbs of fat, but that doesn't mean I need to lose 132.6 more pounds. Based of my bone density results this machine is also able to calculate how much more weight I would benefit most from losing. Based on this I should lose 96 more pounds. That would put me right around 160 lbs, which is EXACTLY where Dr. Billy and I agreed would be acceptable for my frame and muscle composition (160-170lbs). I thought it would be a great idea to show you the numbers so you can see what's happening off the scale.

The Biggest Loser

     One of my favorite shows right now is The Biggest Loser! It's my first time watching it from the beginning of the season all the way through the end, and there's definitely a reason for that. I always felt embarrassed that these people were changing their lives and I wasn't. How do you justify being obese and sitting on your butt while you watch other people lose weight?! I would watch the first 2 episodes of the season and then tune in for the finale. That's where I left it.

   This season has been very different for me because I'm in a completely different mental space too. I'm losing weight and I'm not watching the show from my couch...I'm watching it from an elliptical or treadmill. The theme of this season is "SECOND CHANCES" and the timing couldn't be better. I know it sounds super cliche but I can completely relate to the theme and to these contestants now. I get that they have world class trainers and dieticians working with them to produce amazing results, but at the end of the day the struggle is the same for everyone. You stop caring about yourself and stop thinking that you're worth saving. You feel like you aren't living up to your fullest potential or that you're disappointing the people you care about most.

   There was one particular contestant that I related to immediately and her name is RACHEL!!! She was athletic, had potential to be extremely successful in high school, and she lost herself. I feel like I was in a very similar boat before my surgery and I've been rooting for her since day #1. I almost feel like if she wins I will win too. This week was "Makeover Week" and the final weigh in before the finals, so I felt like bragging about my Rachel a little bit.

    This was her "Before and After" from Makeover Week...Can you imagine what it's going to be at the finale?! So far she's lost over 100 lbs. and she is an absolute beast in the gym. Whenever I watch her work out I find myself pushing myself harder on whichever cardio machine I'm on.

   This was from one of her first workouts on the ranch. Like I said....she's a total BEAST! I can only hope to be that intense someday. I think I'm getting there though!

Bridesmaid: Before & After

   This past summer I went on an unbelievable vacation with my husband and the rest of my familia! We took a Disney Cruise to the Caribbean and celebrated my parents' marriage with a vow renewal in St. Maarten. Where there's a wedding, there's a bride. And where there's a bride, there's usually a bridesmaid or 2. Tonight my mom asked if I had tried on the dress since my surgery and surprisingly enough I haven't. I don't know why I'm still surprised, but it was HUGE on me!

   So this picture was taken in mid-July. The wind was blowing but you can still tell that it was snug on me, especially in the mid-section. I look at this picture, then look in the mirror, and still see the same person. I honestly don't know where the disconnection is coming from?!

    Then I look at a picture like this one and can definitely see the difference. You can even see that my arms alone have slimmed down. In the first picture my arms were rounded and full. Now you can see the arm skin is finally getting loose and the cellulite is pretty much gone. I had a co-worker ask me this week, "Aren't you grossed out that your arms aren't tight and that it jiggles?" To answer that honestly, I obviously wish and hope that the excess skin will go away. HOWEVER... I will take the excess skin and loose arms over going back to where I was any day. I have a husband who loves me and married me the way I was...I can't let myself become insecure and self-conscious about a little loose skin. And I trust that my husband will just be happy that I'm happy, healthy and that I'm more "energetic" ;-P

   So overall this was a pleasant experience that really kick started my week and put me in a good mental space!